happy birthday to jd and liz and whatnot. have fun.

House of 1000 Corpses. What a crappy movie. There is a vague storyline. It's disturbing (I guess... not really). And it's not scary at all. One of THE worst scary movies I've ever seen.

28 Days Later wasn't all that good either. Stupid Eric. And he made it sound so good. BAH.

Two crappy suppositly "scary" movies in one night. I give up. This sucks.

The other day, I was driving along downtown. I'm stopped at this stoplight when I look out the side of my car and I see this really fat kid walking with a huge drum stick in his hands and munching away at it.

Now. I generally have nothing against fat people. I have the same respect for them as every other human being. But this kid is fat. Fat to the point where it is disgusting (trust me on this one). And he doesn't even try to stop eating. WTF is wrong with these people?! Watch, like when he is 18, he'll have a heart attack trying to move from the couch to the fridge and then who will be paying for his hospital bills? US!

Gluttony at it's best.

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

Help...

... I feel like dying. Damn it. I hate myself. FUCK.

I need physical contact... not just want it. I need it. Maybe just for a day. But I need it... help...

It's gonna start...
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, Quick, another beer before it starts." That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?" The husband sighed. " Oh shit, it's started."

What did you think,
I would do at this moment,
When you're standing before me,
With tears in your eyes..
Tryin to tell me that you,
Found you another..
And you just don't love me, No more..

What did you think,
I would say at this moment,
When I'm faced with the knowledge,
That you just don't love me..
Did you think I would curse you,
Or say things to hurt you,
Cause you just don't love me no more..

Did you think I could hate you,
Or raise my hands to you,
Now come on you know me too well..
How could I hurt you,
When darling I love you,
And you know, I'd never hurt you..

What do you think,
I would give at this moment,
If you stay I'd subtract twenty years from my life..
I'd fall down on my knees,
Kiss the ground that you walk on,
If I could just hold you again..

I'd fall down on my knees,
Kiss the ground that you walk on baby,
If I could just hold you..
If I, Could just, Hold you..
If I....If I could just hold you.
Again.

Holy shit this guy 0wns.... the only way I can do it is on an actual piano. DAAAMMMNNN!

*sniff sniff*... so sad....
Note: half ass drawn cartoon nudity... beware.

HOW TO MAKE LOVE
Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana

Directions:

1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well.....creamed. For
best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana does not soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.

Notes:
1. If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.

From velveteen_dreams

what warning label are you?

woohoo.... fuck! dat's all.

from november_lux

"100 best movies", bold the ones you have seen

1 Godfather, The (1972)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
5 Schindler's List (1993)
6 Citizen Kane (1941)
7 Casablanca (1942)
8 Seven Samurai (1954)
9 Star Wars (1977)
10 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
11 Memento (2000)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
13 Rear Window (1954)
14 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17 Usual Suspects, The (1995)
18 Amelie (2001)
19 Pulp Fiction (1994)
20 North by Northwest (1959)
21 Psycho (1960)
22 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
23 12 Angry Men (1957)
24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
25 It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
26 The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
27 Goodfellas (1990)
28 American Beauty (1999)
29 Vertigo (1958)
30 Pianist, The (2002)
31 Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32 Apocalypse Now (1979)
33 Some Like It Hot (1959)
34 Matrix, The (1999)
35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36 Taxi Driver (1976)
37 Third Man, The (1949)
38 Paths of Glory (1957)
39 Fight Club (1999)
40 Boot, Das (1981)
41 L.A. Confidential (1997)
42 Double Indenity (1944)
43 Chinatown (1974)
44 Requiem for a Dream (2000)
45 Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
46 Singin' in the Rain (1952)
47 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
48 Spirited Away (2001)
49 Saving Private Ryan (1998)
50 All About Eve (1950)
51 M (1931)
52 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
53 Raging Bull (1980)
54 Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
55 Se7en (1995)
56 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000)
57 Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
58 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
59 Vita e bella, La (1997)
60 American History X (1998)
61 Sting, The (1973)
62 Touch of Evil (1958)
63 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
64 Alien (1979)
65 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
66 Rashemon (1950)
67 Leon (1994)
68 Annie Hall (1977)
69 Great Escape, The (1963)
70 Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
71 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
72 Reservoir Dogs (1992)
73 Sixth Sense, The (1999)
74 Jaws (1975)
75 Amadeus (1984)
76 On the Waterfront (1954)
77 Ran (1985)
78 Braveheart (1995)
79 High Noon (1952)
80 Fargo (1996)
81 Blade Runner (1982)
82 Apartment, The (1960)
83 Aliens (1986)
84 Toy Story 2 (1999)
85 Strangers on a Train (1951)
86 Modern Times (1936)
87 Shining, The (1980)
88 Donnie Darko (2001)
89 Duck Soup (1933)
90 Princess Bride, The (1987)
91 Lola rennt (1998) (aka, "Run Lola Run")
92 City Lights (1931)
93 General, The (1927)
94 Metropolis (1927)
95 Searchers, The (1956)
96 Full Metal Jacket (1987)
97 Notorious (1946)
98 Manhattan (1979)
99 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
100 Graduate, The (1967)

Death Test

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:


November 8, 2057



at the age of 73 years old.




On that date you will most likely die from:



Cancer (21%)

Heart Attack (19%)

Drowning (9%)

Alcoholism (8%)

Alien Abduction (8%)

Third Degree Burns (5%)

Contagious Disease (5%)

Loneliness (5%)

Auto-Fellatio (5%)


Take the Death Test