Fuck you and goodbye.

First and foremost, I think this is way overdue: Fuck you. I’ve wanted to say it before but I wasn’t quite sure you deserved it yet. But now, you do. You fully do. I normally aim to be an objective person that isn’t judgemental. In this case, I don’t fucking care anymore. I hate you. You have now lied to me TWICE. Saying you weren’t dating and yet you actually fucking fucked the guy. I’m done with you. I am washing my hands clean of you. I am taking everything you gave me and putting it away and never ever going to look back. You say you didn’t want to tell me before because you didn’t want to hurt me. You know what I think? I think you didn’t want to tell me because you are afraid to admit it to me. Because you are afraid of losing ALL my respect and lose me forever even as a friend. It is funny… you told me your Dad thought you were a slut and that you were sleeping with Adrian. I can’t believe he’s right. He’s even right about the fact that you can’t stand up to the consequences of your actions. You couldn’t even tell me you slept with him when it happened.

Let’s put it this way, if I take the point of my life where I had the most respect for you as 100 and the absolutely no respect for you as 0, you are nicely hovering around 10 right now. You were at 75 when you made out with that guy years ago. You were at 65 or so when you dated Adrian. You were at 40 when you lied to me the first time. You are now at 10 and it’ll probably go lower as I mull over this. Congradulations. I don’t care if you realize it was a mistake. You made a conscious decision at some point that night and did it. Ask anybody and they will tell you one week is a little short to be sleeping with someone already. But not only that, let’s not lie, we still had emotional ties and yet you still slept with him. I don’t know where your morality and your conscience was that night but I obviously didn’t even cross your mind. You must obviously NOT respect me or or what we had at all. You say you love me. But I don’t think you even know what that word means anymore. Compared to the fact you dated him, this totally blows it out of the water. You don’t even have enough self-confidence that you felt the need to sleep with someone so quickly.

I’ve said probably a dozen times over the past few months that I wouldn’t talk to you again. I’ve always gone back and talked to you eventually anyways because I cared. Because I still hoped. Beause I still truly wanted to remain friends at the very least. But guess what? I don’t want to anymore. I can stay friends with people that lose my respect generally. But I can’t do it when they not only lose my respect but also purposely hurt me repeatedly in the process. Here I was, so nieve and hopeful for the past few months. When all along, you have been playing me for a fool. And you have the audacity to continue talking to me like nothing has happened. And your friends think I am the one playing the mind games. If sleeping with someone else in a druken haze 4 months after a meaningful 3 year relationship AND lying about it twice isn’t mind games, I don’t know what is. You also lost the respect of all my friends. They don’t want to see you because of this. That’s right. We could have gone out to meet you tonight. I hope you are proud of yourself.

So I’m done. I’m deleting all my previous posts that showed any sign you were in my thoughts over the past few months. You don’t deserve me. And I deserve better. I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. Unless you are dying, don’t call me. It has been a meaningful 3 years. I don’t regret it. But I am beginning to hate what you have become. And I thought my comments about thinking that you were perhaps sleeping with dozens of men were totally baseless and uncalled for. Enjoy your life and however the hell you want to live it. Be an alcoholic, smoke like a chimney and sleep around. I am going to enjoy mine WITHOUT you in it.

Ya this post is public. Anyone that knows about my blog can read it. Too fucking bad. I no longer care if the entire world knows. This is the consequence of your actions.

Fuck you and goodbye.

You are at 4 now btw.

Homecoming '06!

WEee! So Homecoming weekend was lots of fun. I went up on Thursday night and came back Sunday night. Wendy got PLASTERED! It was hilarious! Well, the puking part wasn't so funny but she acted real funny before and after. Nothing like people cheering you on when you are puking.
Got nicely stoned and drunk. Fun times.
Aberdeen was milder this year. No flipped cars. They had water stations throughout the street to sober people up. Also they had tons of volunteers to help people with bottles to switch to a plastic cup. Toronto Police was there to help with surveillance using cameras. And the OPP made their presence known but didn't really obstruct the party. They kept it within Aberdeen and only handed out tickets and made arrests when absolutely necessary. I think the students were also a bit more cooperative this year. They still rushed the field during the football game (which I didn't go to, but I read this), but they left promptly before halftime was over. So, ya overall, I think they did a good job this year.
The only thing that sorta sucked was that while everyone was usually trying to recover from hangovers during the day, while I am ready to go for some more. Stupid fast metabolism! It's a curse I tell ya! Another not so happy thing was that I accidentally broke my camera. As it stands right now, it looks like it'll cost me $150 to fix it :(
But, the pictures were still intact, so if anyone wants my pictures, let me know!

Thanks for the pain and suffering.

"There were only two reasons he came with me that night: one, was for moral support ... The other reason, of course, was to hurt you."